IN THE THEATER/DURING THE MOVIE
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| Why wouldn't a robot have a mustache? |
- Chose not to go to the 3D version, ticket salesman looks broken inside. I already have to live in 3D, why would I want to watch a movie in it.
- I want snacks, but they are so damn expensive. I really should just sneak some in. If the usher tries to pat me down, I'll just tell him not to be such a sour patch kid. In his hysteria after the joke, I will slink away with the actual sour patch kids in my pocket.
- Okay, for some reason we had to go up an escalator and down an elevator to get to our theater. I am very confused, but being so close to the theater, I put it behind me.
In Theater: "pre" previews
- We found seats. What's the deal with the front row of seats? It must be punishment for anyone showing up late. If you show up late, you deserve scoliosis. That's AMC's policy.
- You know, I don't care how they make ketchup look like blood in Dexter or how Mariah Carey is opening an animal shelter under the Sydney Opera House. I hate the "pre" previews, the C- previews really. To be honest, considering I'm going to be given a face full of sound and video for the next two hours, a little silence prior to that would be nice.
In Theater: "actual" previews
- This is my favorite part. All the promise of a new film with no chance of the movie ruining everything for me with bad acting or plot. Really there's just not enough time for it to do so.
- Some guy showed up late and he's having a discussion with his friend about where to sit. You know what dude, go to the front row and suffer from incurable back spasms for the rest of your life like all the other late low lives out there.
- Wow! Cowboys vs. Aliens! Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, and no George Lucas to ruin the entire movie.
TO BE CONTINUED
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