Supreme Court Rules that it can do "pretty much anything."

"We're like a bunch of fucking supervillains."

Today, the Supreme Court handed down a unanimous decision in SCOTUS v. United States.  The case, brought up and decided by the Supreme Court without any prompting by anyone, followed a long string of precedent beginning with Marbury v. Madison affirming that the Supreme Court can do pretty much whatever it wants, whenever it wants.

Written Per Curiam, the Court cited Marbury's famous language, "it is emphatically the province and duty of the Judicial Department to say what the law is, " clarifying that this basically means that "we make the god damn rules."

Many are critical of the decision, stating that the Constitution does not give the judiciary the power to do whatever it wants, to which the Court responded, "Judicial review bitch."  The Supreme Court particularly called out critics charging the Court with being too active in the past, stating that "if they don't like it, they can vote us out.  Ha.  Ha.  Ha."

While some scholars believe this represents a radical shift in the Court's policy, many are stating that this is nothing new to the United States.  Former Justice Stevens gave his opinion, explaining that, "in the past, if we wanted school's desegregated, you better believe they were desegregated.  If we wanted some tapes from the president, likewise, he did it with a smile.  And, if the current Court wants every U.S. citizen to marry a person of the same sex while buying state offered health care, you'll all fucking do it."

President Obama and Congress have responded by passing a law stating that it is "emphatically the province and duty of all branches but the Judicial Department to say what the law is," but the Court is expected to strike the law down on the basis of the rule of the school yard: we got here first.