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| Hey Mikey! Pass me a ninja slice! |
If you're not eating at least one pizza a week, you are prone to suffer from the following conditions:
Being a fucking grump.
Also, whenever I watch Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze, I crave pizza.
Ingredients:
- Onion: 1/2 of it will be fine
- Garlic: 2 cloves minimum, I used 6
- Tomatoes: 2 small ones
- Serrano Pepper: 1 (but optional)
- Tomato Paste: 6 oz. can
- Dried Basil: 1/2 Tbsp
- Dried Oregano: 1/2 Tbsp
- Dried Rosemary: 1/2 Tsp
- Olive Oil: Enough to cover a pan
- Water: Faucet...
- Pizza Crust
- Toppings: Cheese for sure, anything else you want
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| The tomatoes are Raphael. The remaining colors don't really go with any of the turtles. |
Procedure:
1. Chop Some Shit
As I've already stated, cutting stuff is generally the most laborious part of cooking. There's really no trick to this step. I tried to cut my veggies as small as possible since they'll be part of a sauce. However, if you're cool with big chunks of onion in your sauce, by all means cut larger pieces. In the end, I recommend putting your onion, garlic, and optional pepper in one bowl and the tomatoes in another bowl, but I highly doubt it would be the end of the world if you put it all together. One last thing, make sure you put on some music during this. It makes for a pleasant experience, which is important when one is holding a knife. Pictures!
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| Onion! |
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| Garlic! |
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| Do you see any tomatoes? No. |
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| Here they are. In their own bowl. |
2. Cook Some Shit
This part is generally fun, but a little uncomfortable in the summer. Yet, I have a solution:
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| And this is how we cook. |
Pour some oil in the pan, let it heat up, and then dump your garlic, onion, and optional pepper in the pan. You can't really screw this up unless you start burning stuff. Let that cook for about five minutes and you're good to go (generally looking for the onions to become translucent). If you're a pro like me, you can go mess with your Rdio playlist. After that, pour in the tomatoes and again, let that heat up for about 5 minutes. Then mix in your spices (basil, oregano, rosemary). Here's what it should look like:
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| It doesn't look like pizza sauce... yet... |
Finally, wrap up the sauce by pouring your can of tomato paste into the mixture. You'll notice that tomato paste is pretty thick, so that's why you'll be adding water to the pan. There is no right or wrong amount of water. Rather, just add it until the sauce is either as thick or as runny as you want it. Personally, I like my sauce thick so I didn't add much. Just enough to let me stir the tomato paste into the vegetables. Again, here's visual representation:
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| Much better. |
3. The Epilogue
We have reached the delicious end of our journey. I like this part the best because it's a chance for you to: A.) run wild with ideas (tempeh sausage and tomatoes anyone?) and B.) use the leftovers in your fridge (tempeh sausage and tomatoes anyone?). If you really need help with this, I advise putting the sauce on first and then dumping toppings on from there. Here's the sexy adventure my pizza took:
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| Sauce on crust. Check. |
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| If this was me and a girlfriend, I would be the grater and she would be the cheese. Tall. Short. |
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| And then I guess something terrible happens. Analogy ruined. |
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| I'm not an ogre. Of course I gave her some cheese. |
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| Cowabunga dudes! |
The Aftermath:
Deep down, we all know you can't go wrong with pizza. It was delicious. I would especially recommend this recipe if you're a fan of a thick, filling sauce. The addition of extra tomato and onion (beyond just tomato paste) makes the sauce as substantive as the rest of the pizza. Best of all, this recipe is about as run of the mill as you can get as far as pizza sauce goes. If you want a more garlicky sauce, add some more garlic. If you want a spicier sauce, add my suggested serrano pepper and more peppers after that. Just use your judgment and chances are you'll end up with something delicious.
Wrap Up:
Copy and paste me!
Ingredients:
- Onion: 1/2 of it will be fine
- Garlic: 2 cloves minimum, I used 6
- Tomatoes: 2 small ones
- Serrano Pepper: 1 (but optional)
- Tomato Paste: 6 oz. can
- Dried Basil: 1/2 Tbsp
- Dried Oregano: 1/2 Tbsp
- Dried Rosemary: 1/2 Tsp
- Olive Oil: Enough to cover a pan
- Water: Faucet...
- Pizza Crust
- Toppings: Cheese for sure, anything else you want
Procedure:
1. Cut your vegetables. Garlic, onion, and pepper together. Tomatoes on their own.
2. Cook your vegetables in this order: (garlic, onion, pepper), (tomatoes, spices), (tomato paste and water)
3. Sauce and toppings on pizza crust. Bake. Eat. Yum.
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